Hi world. It's been stressful for me. And hella stressful for many more around me.
The flood of Asheville.
What it looks like for me today is:
No running water at home:
Peeing outside as much as possible, and getting water from either the dehumidifier or the cold plunge to fill the toilet tank when necessary
Longer time washing dishes, as I'm washing them in buckets, with an extra rinse, then pouring the grey water from dish cleaning on the plants outside and inside, and cleaning the buckets well so bacteria doesn't build up.
Going to the gym in south Asheville, 20 minutes away from me, where they now have running water to shower.
Wondering what I'm going to do for work. I've been reliant on the massage spa for my income, and haven't marketed much for my work in coaching and bodywork on my own.
Doing magick practices to help me ground, center, become more present and clear in my home.
Wondering if I'm going to move away from my current house and possibly away from Asheville.
Hearing that a close friend is moving back to Colorado, and wondering if I was empathizing with that when I had the previous thought.
Reading stories of friends, acquaintances and strangers in MUCH worse shape than I.
Going to a women's networking group tonight for regulation, support and hopefully some successful business networking.
Wondering if I should invite a friend over tonight or if I would be better off with some alone time.
Colder weather: bundling up, less motivated to pee outside, more hot tea and hot food, more time cleaning since I prepped and cooked more food.
There's a lot of unknown in my world right now, for me personally and for a lot of friends. As an empath, I feel it all, and I'm practicing clearing my mental, physical and energetic space so I can know truly what would serve me and my loved ones at this time. It's easy to get caught up in the energy of the trauma, drama and devastation around. I want to help. I care. It's a beautiful place, with amazing humans - a lot of them coming together to support each other in new ways. Since arriving back in Asheville on Wednesday from my Colorado trip, I've been taking it slowly - dropping in with community for nourishing contact, finding water to use, starting to complete the steps necessary for government financial aid, and supporting friends when I feel drawn to.
What feels like the best thing for me to do at this time is to love myself, and from there, the love I naturally have for others will be expressed with ease. I feel a re-writing of the patterns I had growing up, where I over-gave, and put others first while leaving myself behind, overriding my needs in a way that was ultimately draining and left me resentful and overworked. This re-patterning to slow down, listen to myself, love myself, ground in to my body and give when it feels like a clear "fuck yes" to give, has been uncomfortable to move through, but necessary. We all have different gifts and different roles and jobs to play. I'm learning to listen to mine, learning to love myself, and give from a place of ease and clarity.
The path to paying my rent in a couple months is unknown. The date we'll get running water back, and then the date that water will be safe to drink, are both unknown. The future of Asheville is unknown. The amount of people who died in this storm is unknown. Being in the unknown after Hurricane Helene, and feeling the feels, while letting ourselves open, heal and grow, and not getting swallowed up with the intensity of the emotions, but letting them transform into greater resilience and beauty - that's the work I'm doing now.
If you'd like to join me in person or online for feeling the feels, send me a message, or schedule a call. I'd love to be with you through this journey of navigating the unknown, and finding our resilience through it.
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